Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
