he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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