Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize