It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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