i already hear my dad disowning me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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