Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
