You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
