it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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