Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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