just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize