i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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