no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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