About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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