Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
