Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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