Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
