He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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