Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
