He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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