my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
