I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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