went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
