Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
