Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We got so high we made milksteak
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
