SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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