So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
