can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
