Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
