so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I touched a dick in church today
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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