He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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