i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The beer is more important than you right now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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