i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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