im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
