like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
