oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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