Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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