Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize