so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
