I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize