im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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