omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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