My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
