Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
