WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
did you just send me my own nude
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
