I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
