David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
