I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
