I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
