just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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