Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This baby is an asshole
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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