sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
