...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize