my mouth tastes like poor choices
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
