$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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