8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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