he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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