i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
