Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it glows. i had to have it.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
