Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't deserve a penis
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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