Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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