I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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