I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
