So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
