Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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