I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
