Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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