We need to rekindle our bromance
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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