Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
