alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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