I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
