The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do vagina's smell?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
