Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
