Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
