Don't you send me to vm
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize