i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize