this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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