finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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