you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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