I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
