I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There's even glitter on my cock...
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