you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
